Does your child study but get nervous during exams?
Does he/she not see his/her true performance in exams due to lack of confidence?
You are not alone.
Exam fear and lack of confidence are hindering the future of millions of children today.
But there is good news you can now reprogram your child’s brain so that he/she becomes calm, focused and confident.
In this blog, we will learn how to change a child’s mindset with the help of powerful techniques of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). NLP is a science that changes language, thinking and behaviour in such a way that the child starts feeling successful and secure.
In this article, you will learn:
How to build instant confidence with anchoring
How to eliminate negative thinking with a swish pattern
How to play a success movie in your mind with visualization practice
How to motivate yourself daily with positive affirmations
If you are a parent, teacher or coach - this blog is a mental toolkit for you, so that you can prepare your children not only for exams but for every challenge in life.
Let us now begin this journey -
Where fear will be removed, and confidence will rise.
🔍 What is NLP? (Neuro Linguistic Programming)
The full form of NLP is:
👉 Neuro Linguistic Programming
Its meaning is divided into three parts:
1. Neuro – brain and our thinking
"Neuro" means brain and our thinking process.
How we feel our experiences, whether we are scared or excited, how we think in a situation, all this depends on the neural connections being formed in our brain.
Example: If a child failed in an exam earlier, then his brain remembers that fear. In NLP, we replace that negative experience with a new, positive experience.
2. Linguistic - the power of language and words
How we talk to ourselves inside and outside shapes our thoughts and feelings.
Language is not just a medium to talk to others, but it is also a means of communicating with our mind.
If a child repeatedly says - "I don't know maths", then his mind accepts that as true.
👉 In NLP we use positive language like:
"Every day I am getting better at maths."
3. Programming - Habits and thinking patterns
"Programming" means - our patterns or habits of thinking, feeling and behaving.
Just like a program runs in a computer, our thoughts also run in a particular way.
With the help of NLP we can remove negative programs (such as fear, doubt, nervousness) and install positive programs (such as confidence, focus, motivation).
🎯 In simple language:
Word meaning and its use in NLP
Neuro: brain and thinking Understanding where fear or confidence comes from
Linguistic: language and words How to speak and think positively
Programming: the system of habits How to change the way of thinking
🧒 Why is NLP important for children?
✅ To remove fear of exams
✅ To increase self - confidence
✅ To change negative thinking
✅ To concentrate and increase focus
Its purpose is - to reprogram our ways of thinking, so that we can leave behind fear, failure and self-doubt and create a positive self-image.
🧩 4 powerful techniques of NLP in detail:
1.🔗 NLP Anchoring Technique - understand in detail
Anchoring means:
“Associating a particular emotion (such as confidence, happiness, peace) with a gesture, sound or touch.”
That is, if you want, you can make a "button" which, when pressed, immediately makes the child confident or focused.
Just like there is a shortcut button in a mobile, similarly an anchor is a shortcut to reach a positive state.
📌 How does anchoring work?
This technique works on our subconscious mind.
Example:
Imagine you listen to some happy music and immediately start smiling, because earlier that song was associated with a good moment.
This is a music anchor.
Similarly, we can deliberately associate a positive emotion with an “anchor” - such as pressing a finger on a hand, or taking a deep breath.
🎯 Step by Step Process - NLP Anchoring for Kids
🧒 Target Emotion: confidence, focus, calm, motivation
✅ Step 1: Decide the emotion you want to experience repeatedly
E.g.: “I want to feel confident in the exam”
✅ Step 2: Recall a positive experience of feeling that emotion
The child should recall a time when he did something good, Examples:
Gave the right answer in class
Win a sports competition
The teacher praised him
👉 Ask: “When you did that thing, how did you feel? Where in the body did you feel that confidence?”
✅ Step 3: Feel the feeling fully in the body
Have the child close his eyes
Say: “Feel that feeling again, out loud, throughout the body.”
✅ Step 4: Add a physical anchor
When that positive feeling is at its peak (e.g.: very excited, smiling, light-hearted),
then say:
👉 “Now press two of your fingers (e.g. thumb and forefinger), and anchor that feeling.”
This touch anchor is now associated with that feeling.
✅ Step 5: Test the anchor
Wait 10 seconds.
Now say: “Pinch those same fingers again, and see if that same positive feeling comes back.”
If the feeling comes back – anchoring was successful! 🎉
🧠 Types of NLP Anchoring
Anchor Type Example
👉 Kinesthetic: Finger-press, hand-slapping
👂 Auditory: A word: "Yes!" or "I can"
👀 Visual: Visual image or colour
🧒 Uses for children
🏫 At school:
Get confidence by pressing your fingers before an exam
🏠 At home:
Get focus with an anchor before homework
🎯 At a performance:
Get excited by saying "Yes I Can!" before going on stage
🎓 Phrases you can use for children:
"Whenever you feel a little scared, press your magic finger and see the confidence return!"
"This is your superpower button - you can do anything with it!"
✅ Practice: Add to daily routine
Time to do
Setting the anchor in the morning: “I am confident and focused today.”
Pressing the anchor when starting homework and telling yourself: “I can do this.”
Repeating the good moments of the day with the anchor before going to bed
2. 🔄 Swish Pattern Technique
The Swish Pattern is a very powerful NLP technique used to break negative thinking habits and establish positive mental images.
This technique is especially useful when a child:
gets nervous before an exam,
repeatedly imagines failure,
has negative self-talk,
loses confidence.
🔍 How It Works
In this technique, we create two mental images:
Negative Image - the image that the child repeatedly sees in his mind (e.g., failing an exam, being afraid, forgetting, etc.).
Positive Image - the image that the child wants to see (e.g., taking the exam confidently, scoring good marks, feeling calm and prepared).
Then, these two images are rapidly switched - i.e., the negative is removed and the positive is established.
🧠 Swish Pattern Step by Step Process
Step 1: Identify the problem
Ask the child - “When do you feel scared?”
Example: “On the day of the exam, when I take the paper in my hand, I start trembling.”
Step 2: Clarify the negative image
Ask the child to create a mental picture of that fear - like he is scared, nervous in the exam.
Step 3: Create a positive image
Now ask the child to create a new picture in which he sees himself:
calm,
confident,
smiling,
and moving towards success.
Step 4: Swish It!
Now imagine that the negative image is in front and there is a small positive image in the corner.
As you say “swish,” make the positive image bigger and the negative image disappear.
This should happen very fast, in 1 second.
Step 5: Repeat this 5-7 times
By doing this process every time, the brain erases the negative thinking and makes positive thinking the default pattern.
🎯 Example - A child named “Aarav”
Aarav used to get scared before the exam.
He always saw himself failing.
The NLP coach made Aarav create a positive image - like he is calm and smiling in the exam hall.
With the swish pattern, Aarav started replacing his negative image with a positive one.
Within a few days, Aarav’s pre-exam nervousness disappeared and he was filled with confidence.
🌟 What benefits do children get from the swish pattern technique?
Removes nervousness and fear
Makes self-talk positive
Increases focus and confidence in exams
Replaces the memory of negative experiences
3. 🎥 Visualization Practice
Visualization means to imagine with your mind's eye, i.e. to see or feel the thing you want to achieve. When a child repeatedly sees pictures of success in his mind, his brain forms beliefs and behavior accordingly.
Visualization is a powerful technique of NLP, which trains the brain for positive results.
📚 Why is visualization important for children?
A child gets nervous before an exam because his mind creates pictures of failure - like forgetting the paper, getting low marks, getting embarrassed in front of everyone.
If you teach them the technique of repeatedly showing pictures of success, their brain works in that direction.
👉 "Visualization is mental rehearsal for real success!"
🧠 How does it affect the brain?
The brain cannot differentiate between imagination and reality.
When you repeatedly imagine something, the brain accepts it as true.
So if the child repeatedly sees himself being calm, confident and successful in the exam – his confidence starts increasing naturally.
✅ How to do visualization (step by step):
Choose a calm place: The child closes his eyes and sits comfortably.
Take slow deep breaths: Calm the body and mind.
Create a picture of success:
Imagine he is going to the exam hall.
He is calm, confident.
He is reading the questions and writing the answers smoothly.
The teacher is smiling, he is getting good marks, the family is happy.
Add emotions: Add emotions to those visualizations - like happiness, pride, peace.
Practice daily: 5-7 minutes every day, especially in the morning and before sleeping.
🧒 Tell children:
"Close your eyes and imagine yourself smiling while sitting in an exam. You know the answer to every question. You are calm and happy. Now imagine the results are out and you have topped!"
💡 NLP tip:
The more details and emotion you add to the visualization, the quicker it will have an effect.
4. 🗣 Affirmation Practice
🌟 Meaning of Affirmation:
Affirmations are positive sentences that by repeating them over and over again, we give our mind a new belief. These sentences change the way we think and program new thoughts, feelings and behavior in our subconscious mind.
🧠 How does the subconscious mind work?
Our subconscious mind is like a powerful computer. Whatever you think, say or feel repeatedly - it accepts it as true.
It stores your old experiences, fears, beliefs and emotions.
When we repeat positive affirmations daily, we tell a new story to the subconscious mind and this new story creates new habits, confidence and success.
📋 How to do affirmations?
Say them as soon as you wake up in the morning and before going to bed at night.
Say them while standing in front of a mirror.
Say each sentence with feeling and conviction.
If possible, take a deep breath and close your eyes and visualize.
🗣 10 Powerful Affirmations for Students
🔟 Affirmations:
1. I am intelligent and learning more every day.
2. I am confident and perform well in exams.
3. I like to study and have a sharp memory.
4. I understand every subject easily and study with fun.
5. I remain calm, focused and concentrated.
6. My teachers and parents are happy and proud of me.
7. I have a clear picture of success in my mind and I am reaching it.
8. I am becoming better every day, and my self-confidence is increasing.
9. My preparation is complete and I am ready for the exam.
10. I am a winner, I am successful, and I believe in myself.
📌 Conclusion:
✅ Affirmations are not just words, they are the beginning of your new life.
✅ When done with faith, emotion and regular practice, it gives positive programming to your subconscious mind.
✅ Students can adopt these to gain focus, confidence, interest in studies and success in exams.
👨👩👧 Tips for parents
Listen to your children, understand and appreciate them
Focus on their progress instead of comparing
Practice NLP with children as a fun game
Use words that boost their confidence, such as - "You can do it", "I am proud of you"
✨ Conclusion: Self-confidence and success go hand in hand with NLP
Children not only need bookish knowledge, but also mental strength and self-confidence.
NLP techniques free their minds from fear and fill them with self-confidence.
When there is faith in the mind, the pen in the hand also works accurately.
"No exam can defeat children who believe in themselves."
📣 Call to Action
Share this blog with all those parents, teachers and students who want to see their children overcome the fear of exams and move forward with confidence.
By Dhruv Sharma
Clinical Hypnotherapist | NLP Peak Performance Coach
